October - Optimistic about the future

“Intuition is not a single way of knowing, it's our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith and reason". Brené Brown

In October, I embrace change. I'm proud of my progress and staying faithful to my plan. The outlook is calmer and clearer, illuminated by bright sunlight, which I take as a sign of growing confidence. One challenge is moving forward when you feel overwhelmed. Another is finding the courage to say out loud and online who you want to be. I trust my intuition to signal the direction to go.

There are deeper, more thoughtful conversations as friends and acquaintances step forward to help me. One good friend accompanies me through the scary process of setting up a business and the first (frightening) meeting with an accountant. I’m excited about the future and feel a sense of release from work that has, in recent months, become an open prison. What’s different? I’m showing vulnerability, being open to connection, and inviting others to share in my search for clarity. Support comes from many unexpected places. (Deep Gratitude)

My biggest hurdle is taking action when I feel overcome by the enormity of change. It’s challenging to know where to begin. I start a task, then I wonder if I am doing the right thing. I stop, and nothing moves. I'm stuck, frustrated and unsure what to focus on. I recognise that I need to break things down. Take small steps (Keep moving!), prioritise (Ask: What is most important today?), and set clear, short- and medium-term goals (Check whether what you are doing is aligned with these objectives). I lurch forward, but at least I'm moving.  

As my coaching and counselling experience grows, I shamelessly use practice sessions with other coaches to uncover what's holding me back. I still can't publish my writing, fearing ridicule and shame. I half-jokingly tell a friend that if I ever write a book, it will be titled “Coming out to be yourself”. It feels important to give my emotions a creative voice, but publishing my writing remains difficult.

It’s hard work finding your sense of purpose and challenging limiting beliefs. I am mentally tired, but motivated to reshape who I am. I connect to my intuition by listening to others and giving myself time and space to reflect on my thoughts and emotions. I recognise that there is no certainty and nobody else can decide for me. I take a deep breath, trust my inner voice, and move.

“Intuition is not a single way of knowing, it's our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith and reason. Brené Brown