May 2025 - Career Choice Doubts
Reflections on the doubts, uncertainty, and difficult choices you need to make when you lose your job in your 50s.
“A dark night has many important gifts for you.….. Sometimes in your darkness, you may sense that something is incubating in you or that you are being prepared for life.” Thomas Moore. Dark Nights of the Soul.
May 2025 - Doubts and ambiguity. Too old to be employed. Do I still believe in corporate life? Am I fully committed to shareholder return? Career success locked me in, keeping me safe and helping me grow. Now I can transform. What about the children? I need to support them through school. Am I selfish if I take the risk of changing what I do?
Journaling becomes an important way to reflect. I feel a renewed connection with nature, closer to Mother Earth, the trees, and the sky. What a beautiful contrast with dreams of decaying flowers, poppy-filled battlefields, and a cancerous black lining around my heart. Death, grief, and letting go of more than a job, also an identity.
And what about the car! I‘ve had it for ten years. Does a beaten-up small SUV represent my career pinnacle? My only previous interest was that my car started in the morning. Now I’m watching CarWow reviews online, looking to upgrade. Is that my status? A new mid-level car for an ex-mid-level Manager. I’m not Porsche wealthy, and besides, the kids won’t fit in a two-seater. Why am I disappointed and fixating on a materialistic status symbol? There must be something more.
Glimmers of possible transformation. Leave something beautiful on this planet. Build community and help others to grow. Can I do it? How great it could be! Then the dark grey clouds of fear pass in front of the sun. I see shame ( Am I good enough?) and embarrassment (What will people think of me if I fail?). Success is trying to make the magic happen...
Breathing in and out…. Love, peace, and strength.
Join me on the journey.
